Hey all


here to update again.. i realised i havent written anything for a long long long long time.. just that i have been lazy to update... omg.. i hope i am not losing the passion the blog anymore..

ok so some updates since after my bday weekend party..

Nothing much have been happening at work.. the usual stuff though... parades, welcome ceremonies, and the botanical gardens performance. Well, this week went down to tekong for the BMT band auditions. nice to see some farmiliar faces there too...nice to be back there too...

My sats now are practically sold to the army to have NDP rehearsals.. but i force myself into going out at night with my frens till late.. hoping to get everything off my mind..

Well...emo stuff later, on the lighter side, i had a day out with my buddy esther on friday!

Haha.. planned to go to botanical gardens with lunch picnic, but an emergency cropped up with here family side, so i accompanied her to settled it.. but she still wanted to go to botanical gardens.. so we did, with tea instead.

Really nice sights there... some pics..

At the main gate


this is rally nice pic, right esther!? coz i'm the photographer! wahah!!



oh yes, we attepted to fly a kite.. but not much wind, so it kinda failed


scenic...


A bit of CamWhoring while having a picnic



Was a good day out!



Yup, my day off was good, Thanks esther for hanging out with me yea!


ok, so the last 2 weeks have been emotionally challenging for me...a lot in my mind, and wil share some stuff here, some not really ready to publicly say, but if u want to know then ask me personally.

I realised how bad a situation i am in.. first comes family.. omg, i know i shouldnt be complaining and be thankful for the things i have,.. but omg! everyone in my family has super big flaws which is super irritating... my mum, dad and sis.. and they dont even realise they are doing wrong, or affecting ppl! All the big talk abt advice and morals, when u dont even live up to what u preach, and u expect ppl and ME for the matter to listen and follow.. I will sigh under my breath,shake my head many a times, and get irritated... Y am i stuck with ppl like these...summore my immediate family!

well, i have been trying to drown myself away from things on my mind through ate nights out. especially the last few weekends... but seems many attempts just makes me recollect it.. keep failing... i guess ur nightmares and emo thoughts just comes back to haunt u all the time, no way to run.. when u get so deep into it, u cant hide...

Personally also, i have been trying to find things out for myself...not going to say much here.. onli in private if u ask k.. but i realised i'm not meant to have many things too.. based on situations i'm in, or coz i'm permanently stuck in a place where it wont improve. just have to fight my way out...

ARGH!!! omg.. i am just emotionally overwhelmed now...i cant even work properly! i even have to appear like everything seems alright, but within i'm just crushed with so many thoughts and grieviance.. everything is affected...just hate it...

How i just need someone to listen to me, talk to me about things that is happening to me... and still not judge me after what i have to say.. and not reply with the comment "everyone goes through things like this" coz i freaking dont care.. i am stuck with my problems, so deal with me first!...i just need that shoulder to cry on...

stuck alone...