hey all,

ok, its 2+am on a sat night and i cant sleep...

'u' finally found out my feelings this evening...and of coz it feels kinda awkward now.



i dont blame you 'u' for anything. really. its not your fault coz all this while i have been keeping it to myself. and furthermore, u have ur own rights to like who u want to like.

ah! darn... what have i done!? it makes things a lot messier now manz... everything seems so strange and now 'u' is going to treat me differently and feel awkward being around me. shit manz...

i kinda knew something like this was going to happen, coz it usually does. But i dint want to lie to you and myself to make things more suspended. and yes, it has finally happened.

I hearby declare myself a total idiot.

ok.. so from now on, i am going to GIVE UP on all this rubbish. yes! love, romance, relationships, mutual attraction. its all fake and DOES NOT EXSIST! at least not in my life. I'm sorri to all those whom i'ved scared by telling u my feelings coz i know my standards of ppl are high, but i have not taken a good look at the mirror myself.

if the right one comes then fine.. but i've had it with trying to fall of anyone anymore. its been TOO LONG and painful over numerous occasions of having to face this time and time again. i will have to force myself to shut my eyes from now on. why, coz i just end up going to a state where i am just kinda usless (which honestly i am) when i reveal my feelings.

yes. so i am in this state officially. it sucks. if u wanna encourage me, pls do it tactfully, of coz if anyone bothers in the first place.. considering if anyone actually reads my posts nowadays also...

k, i better stop now b4 i end up cursing myself even more. =[