Hey all.

officially i have not blogged for abt 2mths plus..

just too lazy to write anything.. strage isnt it when there is more going on now and i dont feel like writing..

So much has happened in the last few months.. so much... i dont know should i even keep this post happy or if i should start my rambling once again...

so where i left off since Jan..

well, had fun at Jame's 21st, the big day finally came for him. the long awaited party, planning went off quite well.. i hope u like the card Esther and i gave u!!

Victor, Me, James, Esther, Mark


Come came Feb, i can hardly remember what happened during then though. but i do remember the guys(me,benji,trev,benny,robin,jayden,leon) and i went out to see the fire works at Hong Bao river...then after that we went to watch movie.. Percy JacksoN!

Benji,Me,Leon,Jayden




Oh yes yes!! My Unit's DnD was at the end of Feb too.. the performance finally revealed.. haha... We did well and it was quite a good DnD up at the White house in Camp! My Band's theme was Jazz. but we kinda spiced it up after a while and it went to an Indian theme! haha




Ginny was gorgeous!


March March! it was birthday month! oh manz! so many birthdays!

Week 1- Esther Goh Mei Fang!!! finally 21!!!
Me,james,Esther,terence


Week 2- Jayden Ng... getting older =] 25 haha
XinKai,Henry,Jayden,Leon,Jason,Eric,Me,Benny,Robin


Week 3- Robin Tan... 22


Week 3-Ng Man Ning... 21



and of Coz my sis's kim's birthday with no pictures.. 20 this yr..

End of March, i guest played for MusArt Wind Orchestra at Yong Siew Toh Hall.. Was quite ok i guess.. but strangely like no feeling for the performance lo...
but it went well i guess...

My sec 1 juniors..er..wait..they are sec 2 le.. haha


My junior leaders


Juniors


Haha.. wah.. me wor.. i look quite ugly playing eh!


manNing and I


Well.. just after the concert on Sunday, i went back to camp straight away.. and this whole week i was slothering under the sun.. i got so so so so so so burnt that it hurt like mad!! i couldnt even wash my face! it was CDF COC...finally its over, damn tired and just looked damn Black now...

Oh yes! i went out with esther and bought a BABY SYLSVESTER!!! omg.. cheap thrill!! my Fav! so Cute!!!

Mohawk!

So cute right! lol


alrigts, so this is the other side of the story...

!@#$%^&*()_+_)(*&^%$#@!@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@#$%^&*(@!@#$%^&^%$!@#$*(@#$%($@#$*(@#$%^&*(&$#@#$%^&*()*&^%$#%^&*()%$$UG$$%^&*()&$#$$&*()#$@#%^&*()&%#$@#%^&*()*&^%$#!##^&^(()@*$(@^@*#)@&(&!)^$*%$&%(&#(!*@*!()^$*@%$&(#&#()*!*#)(&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


omg! i am so FUSTRATED!!!!!!!
Just when i thought begining of the year, things were going to go well, and it did seem like things were moving pretty ok... its gone froma slight up slop to a sudden plunge off a cliff! omg!!

i have been going for many cases for my parent's divorce and its so stressful when u see that all they think of is fighting for more and emotion eruption! mainly anger...
Mum is always thinking beyond everything and always assuming till she gets distracted and she gets herself disappointed when she realises it will never happen that way.and ever so demanding to what she already wants, she doesnt even want to consider any other options, and even listen to alternative.. she has already made her mind and plans of what to do.... My father is erupting as usual, and really, he doesnt think before he reacts... even when he reacts rashly, he just explodes and is just not rational... ever since young till now, i swear i will never want to be like this ever...never in my life...

Ur character shows how scared u are as a person. either becoz u are too demanding and are afraid of being over thrown by someone more superior or just plain ego. and u result in violence or just making a big scene over small instances... I swear i never want to be like u ppl,... now in this way... That y i'd rather just keep my mouth shut and usually give in to ppl. i hate it when i have to fight for something which can close an eye to... really...and also i end up keeping my feelings to myself coz what is the point of venting out ur angry on others when it will not make things better, u onli pass on the fustration to others and obviosly ruin something with ppl..

My personal life is really like a mess... i really dont know what to really think, say or even do anymore... my self will power on many things seems like a valve low on the spare battery already. lately i've stop trying to search for ppl to be with.. Many of u know i have been yearning for a companion for quite a while... many have adviced me, some always asking if this is the right time, some say just wait..
i really dont know what to take of it anymore.. maybe i am starting to be even more insecure... i dont want to go to the extent of being desperate, but really is it so difficult to even find someone who would like me!? waited all the ever so long time and got my heart really hurt again last yr when i realised i was not the one and i just felt so played with after that month of 'romance'... i really hate being lonely and i appreciate my friends who try to keep me company at times, but sometimes it still doesnt fill that total void.. besides, most of my friends are also attached! how am i suppose to swallow that whole? Besides, friends have a limitation to what they can do as well, there is nothing emotionally mutual... More and more i ponder of this, i feel like i will never find anyone.. and i must start to accept the fate of my reality...this really sucks...

finally... My Birthday is abt a mth away. Based on my last post and my earlier plans, seems like things are not going to happen the way i want it, nor will it be a big elaborated alterntive.. My idea of a big function got reduced to finding a restaurant or a bar, i was ok with that idea, then, it got reduced to just getting a cheap chalet which i dnt want to do again.. then it was changed to using my home's club house(its very sian), and then to just a bbq... now the final change of plan is to hold it at home...not onli the change of venues, but the size of my guest list got reduced almost 50%. And all this was never never never my decision to change idea and i started onli from the top. but i tried and reconsidered and accepted it. I always dreamt of a really elaborated or at least a bigger 21st.. i wanted it to be really special. But it seems like i'll be stuck at home for the party. I really give up manz.. at this point i just feel like ending this reduction to not having any party anymore.. i dont want to be upset and unhappy on my birthday, i'd rather just not have it,to save my energy on something i dont want.

Its onli april, what a year to to begin with.. really and what a time to turn 21...thank u for making this such a memoriable yr so far =[